I’ve always been focused on my appearance, that’s how I am. I am well aware that women’s body issues are a really serious thing. I’ve struggled with self esteem issues- who fucking hasn’t? -inside the confines of my own skull of course-because there’s absolutely nothing sexy about a woman who can’t stand to look herself in the mirror. There are so many stages of body dysmorphia it’s disgusting, and the last thing I’d ever want is for someone to look at me and feel “sorry for me.” I have zero interest in that. Hence, why I’ve kept my mouth shut about things like this. Bulimia and anorexia sound super glamorous until you’re the one who can’t keep your meal down. I learned the hard way that you can’t binge &purge and expect to lose weight. Nice try though.

I kind of came to a realization lately from a few multitudes of douchebags in my life who have criticized my weight, anywhere from calling me out for having a double chin (fuck that guy) to giving me dieting tips, and telling me they only date rail thin girls. One guy said verbatim “I’d be obsessed with you if you were skinny.” HUH? First of all, with all due respect, that man can eat a fat dick. Maybe I’m the only person left on earth who considers other people’s feelings? I would never say something like that to anyone. Regardless, it shifted my outlook. Oh you like skinny girls? I’m going to get rail thin and then laugh in your face when you ask to take me out.

All that being said, I quietly set some goals, stole the dieting tips, and hit the gym twice a day every day. I’m not down to my goal weight yet, but I don’t really like to focus on the numbers, it’s about how you feel. I also found the most amazing workout and diet guide called FitazFK. It’s a 28 day guide, all downloaded through iBooks, so you always have it on you; but once you get into the habit of eating certain things it feels less like a crash diet, and more like a healthy lifestyle.

I’m on day 6 of Fitazfk and I already see a difference in my body. The workouts are gradual but effective and the cookbook is so fucking cute I printed the whole thing out just to keep in the kitchen. I’ve had my fair share of crash dieting, and while they might seem effective, it’s really bad for you. By all means, go get your revenge bod, but do it the right way so you don’t lose yourself in a box of thin mints right after reaching your goal weight.  This about being healthy- for your body and for your brain.